


The Little Merman

by Peanutsfan1



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: And Iceland's just fed up of this shit, And Norway's an oblivious dork, Den is a hopeless romantic, LGBTQ Themes, Little Mermaid AU, M/M, Slight internalised homphobia, This is for the nordictalia server
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-24
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:41:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27696419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Peanutsfan1/pseuds/Peanutsfan1
Summary: "I turn my attention back to the ocean, an old fairytale taking up my mind. Of a mermaid who falls in love with a prince and trades her voice to be with him."When Lukas Bondevik gets caught in a shipwreck, he didn't realise what chaos would follow the next week. Sure, trolls and fae are one thing, but having a merman trade his voice in the hope that you fall in love with him is completely something else. Not that Lukas realises, of course.This week should surely be something special.
Relationships: Denmark & Hong Kong (Hetalia), Denmark & Iceland (Hetalia), Denmark/Norway (Hetalia), Hong Kong/Iceland (Hetalia)
Comments: 15
Kudos: 25





	1. Mathias really needs to get a swear jar.

Lukas

What could be said about my twenty fifth birthday so far? I mean, I had to work out on the sailing boat again and didn’t manage to get the day off. In a small town like this it’s hard to get even a day off on your birthday. The town needs it’s fish, after all. I didn’t mind though. For starters, today like many other days consisted of a bright blue sky touched with a few clouds, not too many, and calm waters. Makes my job easier. Besides, it allows me to spend the day with the breeze in my face and observe the scenery. That is, until a large gust of wind blows right into my face, causing all my hair to fall into my eyes (and my open mouth). Gross. I really need to get a hair clip to tie it back. If not that, then a haircut. It’s getting far too long these days.

Anyway, it was just me, admiring the sky and the sea, ignoring the two co-workers bickering behind me. Ugh. This again? “Listen to me, what you’re claiming is complete and utter nonsense! Shit like that doesn’t exist!” My ears prick at the word ‘exist’ and I’m suddenly interested in the argument. So, I tear myself away from the railing of the sailboat and make my way over to the two men.

“This is what’s wrong with people nowadays! You never believe anything unless you see it with your own eyes!” The other co-worker, Harald, spits, waving his arms around. Harald is significantly older than Jan (the first man) being 40, whilst Jan himself is more around my age, and the two fight constantly. It’s so fucking annoying. “Come on, dude. Merfolk? That’s fucking ridiculous. They. Don’t. Exist. It’s a scientific fact,” Jan pinches the bridge of his nose, exhaling. Ok. No. Disagree. Strongly disagree. This man does not know how wrong he is. If I didn’t hate Jan enough already. God’s sake. “I’ve got to butt in here, Jan. Merfolk exist. And that’s a fact.” There. Said my piece. If there’s anything I know, it’s that magical creatures exist. Anyone who says otherwise is an idiot who needs to open their eyes.

“If it’s such a fact, _Lukas_ , where’s your evidence? What proof do you have?” Jan continues to spew his nonsense, clearly not thrilled that I’ve joined in as he shoots me a glare. “He doesn’t need proof! This is what I’m trying to say, sometimes you’ve just got to believe blindly. You believe in God, don’t you, Jan?” Harald interjects and immediately I see where this is going. Now, in terms of the proof I have, I think being good friends with a troll counts as one. So if trolls and fae exist, merfolk do too.

“What’s that got to do with anything?” What an idiot. But I can’t say that I’m friends with a troll. It would be goodbye small town, hello mental institution. And I don’t want that. “Well, you blindly believe God exists, how is this any different? There’s no evidence that God exists, so shut up and quit hounding us.” Yep. Exactly where I thought it was heading. Jan growls at us but strolls away, going to help with the nets.

“Thanks for coming to my aid, Lukas. It’s nice to know someone your age still believes in these things. Happy birthday, by the way,” He grins at me and a small smile works its way onto my cheeks in response. I like Harald, he’s always been really pleasant to me, especially when I started and hadn’t had any experience. Jan, however, has not. So he can go fuck himself. This town has quite a few Catholics and the like, so I’m quite used to talking to plenty of nice religious people. So, I don’t hate Catholics. Just Jan. “Thanks, Harald. I’m always here to back you up on mythical creature debates. Always.”

I turn my attention back to the ocean, an old fairytale taking up my mind. Of a mermaid who falls in love with a prince and trades her voice to be with him. Huh. I forgot that was a thing. Must be nice to be able to love normally and not be broken like me. God, I wish I weren’t broken. And, for a split second, too quick for me to catch a proper look, I think I see a red tail, driving down into the depths.

Must be nice to be free.

Mathias

“Mathias Køhler! Will you slow the fuck down for just a second!” My best friend shouts from far behind me and, in my rush to stop swimming, I almost crash into a rock. When will I finally look where I’m going? It’s a mystery, that’s for certain. While Leon attempts to catch up to me, clearly not used to being a flounder (wish I were a shapeshifter, how cool would that be!), I admire the rows of sunken ships before me, a grin stretching across my face. “Why did you want to be a flounder again?” I ask, not looking back, my grin turning into a shit-eating one. “Because” Leon puffs, “I should practice every single form so then I am well rounded in all of them. So you, Mathias, can shut the fuck up.” Still don’t understand why he has to do this now but ok.

Yep, Ka Lung ‘Leon’ Wong-Kirkland is certainly something. For starters, despite being a full three years younger than me, he is my closest friend and confident. For… reasons we could actually get in a lot of trouble for being best friends and even just having a single conversation. All I’ll say is our fathers have a huge vendetta against each other. Extremely chill and aloof, looks like he doesn’t care a lot of the time (but actually does), very goal-orientated and hardworking (which others may not expect), mischievous, sarcastic… that’s Leon. I’d say we make a good pair, similar in some sense, different in others. He’s all down for doing something he’s not supposed to… most of the time. Other times he tries to reign me back. The keyword is ‘tries’.

He finally appears by my side, wheezing, “Alright, so you want to go inside one of them. That’s cool. My only issue is, what if we run into sharks?” Then, I’ll punch one on the nose. Simple. “Don’t worry about that! It’ll be fun! Tell you what, I’ll go into that ship,” I point straight ahead at one of the largest rundown ships. God, I want to get moving already! This is killing me! “And you can stay out here and keep any eye out for any of these sharks. Ok?” Do I wait and hear his response? No. I want to start this adventure already! I’m almost at the ship when I realise I haven’t heard a response yet. Perhaps he’s actually decided to do just that… “Wait!” Or maybe not.

After a while he appears by my side once more. Being a flounder really isn’t working out for him, huh. The thought makes me crack up and he shoots me a glare between breaths. “You- you are a fucking dick- you know that right, Køhler?” He sighs as we begin to enter through a small crack in the hull. Finally. I hope I find some cool human gadgets and gizmos in here!

“I do.”

Unfortunately, the inside of the ship does not seem as extravagant as the outside. It’s dull. Empty. There’s nothing here. Yet, I keep faith. I must be able to find something. Anything. This can’t be it. Surely there’s something. There has to be. I swim through the floors, sighing at the emptiness. That is, until a glint catches my eye. Can it be- “Aha!” I yank the pronged thing from the floor, examining its every detail. “Wow.” Metallic, a bright silver, must be what caught my eye. Four prongs. Funnily shaped. It’s beautiful. Whatever it is, it’s beautiful.

“Mads,” Leon whispers, waggling a fin at me, “Over here!” I swim over, still holding the beautiful, strange gizmo. Now that I think of it, it kinda resembles my dad’s trident. Huh. Don’t think they have the same purpose though. Once I’m there, he outstretches a fin (still insisting on the fish form I see), revealing a weird pipe thing. Also cool. And here I thought we’d struck out with this ship. Two cool things in one go! Nice! “What do you think?” He’s struggling to keep it up, the weight of the gadget being much heavier than his current form, so I take it off of him. He’s relaxing. Not so worried about sharks anymore, I see. “It’s incredible, Leon,” I breathe, my face lighting up, “And look what I found!” We compare items, curiosity bubbling up inside like a witch’s cauldron. Humans are so cool. Everything they create is truly wonderful. “We should go see Mr. Puffin! He’d know what these gizmos are!”

Before my fish-shaped friend gets to respond, the room goes dark. That’s strange. How can the sea go dark? We’re not that deep. And it wouldn’t just suddenly… go dark. Leon headbutts me anxiously, fear spread over his little fishy face, “Mathias. Shark.” Shark. Oh shit. Yep, I see it. He was right to be worried. Shit! Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit. Man, did I fuck up. It’ll be fine. It has to be fine. Surely it’ll be fine. The shark cannot get in here. It can’t possibly…

There’s a window. A huge one. Oh fuck. Ok. Back away, Mathias. Slowly back away. Keep calm. It’ll be fine. It’ll be fine. Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit. Glaring at us, the shark begins to headbutt the window, and not in the anxious, friendly way Leon was doing earlier. No. It’s trying to break the glass. And from the way the glass is cracking rapidly, I would say it’s succeeding. I fucked up. I fucked up real bad. “This is why I was worried!” Leon groans to my left. “Yeah, dude. I know. Yell at me after, ok?”

The window smashes.

The shark comes at us at full speed.

We swim for our life.

“Fuck,” I yell as we scramble to escape the ship. “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.” I am officially an impulsive idiot. I have no idea where Leon is and I’m pretty sure I’m about to die. Fuckkkkkkkkkkk. A hand grabs my arm, “This way!” Hand. Leon. He’s finally given up on the flounder idea. Thank fuck. Smart move. Speed is of the essence, after all. So, Leon guides my through the ship, his head clearly working much more than mine, definitely not filled to the brim with curse words. I’m an idiot. An actual idiot. Fuck. Why don’t I listen to anyone! Fuckkkkkk. I’m so fucking stupid. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. There’s light and suddenly, we’re outside of the ship. This is what I mean when I say my head’s not in it! I examine Leon, his black and purple tentacles in full view. Sometimes I forget he hasn’t got a tail like me. I’m so oblivious I swear to God.

Now’s not the time to zone out again, Mathias.

Focus.

Now, where did that shark go?

Right behind us? Great.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Fuck.

However, when I swim forward, Leon doesn’t move. He stays there, staring the shark down. I’m pretty sure the shark is going to eat my best friend. Holy shit. “What are you doing, idiot? Move!” But he doesn’t. He just floats, eyes closed, mouth only slightly moving. The shark is bewildered so, in that sense, Leon is lucky. It’s only delayed his death by about half a minute. Now, I’m not the best at describing things, so you’ll just have to bear with me while the next events play out. A light bursts out of Leon, one I’m familiar with, one I’ve seen many many times before. He’s transforming. Why is he transforming now? I don’t understand. That is, until he appears as a shark. Oh! All it takes is a terrifying glare and Leon and I will not die today. Thank God. The shark retreats, and Leon becomes a merman once more.

“Next time, Mathias, I am not saving your sorry ass.” Yeah. Figured.

“Let’s go to this puffin of yours then.”

*

“Ah! If it isn’t my favourite merman! Found any more interesting stuff, you punk?” Mr. Puffin stares down at us from his buoy, waving a small black fin at us. “Rude,” Leon mutters so only I can hear, which earns a snicker from me. “If I hadn’t, then why would I be here? I have to consult the expert, after all.” The best thing to do with Mr. Puffin is flatter him. He’s quite an arrogant bird, though he does care, and speaks kinda tough-like. He’s interesting to say the least. And he’s my best bet when understanding humans and telling me what different gizmos are. “Absolutely! I am the number one expert on all things human, you made a good choice when trusting me, punk.” Even if he is slightly insane. “I have this for you,” I hand over the beautiful, strange, pronged gizmo. It’s quiet sad to part with it, but I’ll get it back shortly. He turns it over in his wings, examining every last detail like I had done earlier. “Ah, so what we have here is a dinglehopper.”

A- A dinglehopper?

“What humans do with this dinglehopper is, well, it helps them keep their hair straight. They brush it with these dinglehoppers, you see,” Mr. Puffin mimics the action and then hands the dinglehopper back. I run it through my hair a few times. Wow. That’s really cool! Dinglehoppers are my new favourite gizmo. “What about this, Mr. Puffin?” Running on a burst of excitement, I hand over the weird pipe-thing. The bird glances it over, a smirk spread across his cheeks (do birds have cheeks?) – must be due to the ego boost. “Now this! This is an amazing gadget! You see, the humans use this to play music and dance to it. You just blow into it like this,” He tries to demonstrate, but clearly lacks in musical talent as nothing happens when he blows into the pipe. Huh, music. Why does that ring such a bell?

I’m forgetting something, aren’t I?

Fuck.

What was it- what was happening to do with music?

What was it?

Oh- FUCK!

“Oh my God! My dad’s concert! I’ve missed it! I’ve got to go!”

I am so fucking screwed.

Typical Mathias Køhler behaviour.


	2. Lukas absolutely hates social situations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone is interested in watching a male cover of 'Part of your World' (which takes place in this chapter), I'll attach the link below at the beginning of the chapter so you can listen whilst reading if you want! I really love this cover, so imagine Mathias singing it :)

<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rJ3mkyCaF4>

“Hm… so you have a large fascination with humans? Good. I can work well with that,” An emerald eyed male observes a crystal ball, watching the frantic merman swim towards his father’s concert. Two eels poke out from around him, smirks decorating their faces. “It won’t be long Mathias Køhler until I use you to execute my plan and finally get revenge on that wanker that you call a father. Just you wait…”

He glances at the eels, smirking just like them, “Alfred, Francis, my gorgeous pets… go watch over our little merman.”

And so they swim away with malicious intent, leaving just the green-eyed male, sitting on top of his black and purple tentacles.

“Just you wait, Køhler. You won’t even see it coming…”

Mathias

“I cannot believe that you did this! You just can’t ever follow orders can you!” My father screams down from his throne at me. As if I don’t feel terrible enough already. But he’s right. This is top notch, typical Mathias Køhler behaviour. I knew I was fucking screwed, and here I am, being thoroughly yelled at. “What was ever so important that you forgot this anyway?” He glares harshly at me, my stomach sinking in response. He twiddles with his trident while I squirm underneath this harsh gaze. Fuck. “I was exploring and got chased by sharks. Mr. Puffin was explaining something to me when I remembered the concert. I’m so incredibly sorry, Dad.” Surely that’s ok? I forgot. It was an honest mistake.

Wait-

I mentioned Mr. Puffin-

The surface-

The one place my father has told me not to go about a thousand times-

Fuckkkkkk!

“You what! Mathias Hans Køhler, how many times have I told you not to go to the surface! You could be seen by a human! You could be killed! You could…” He keeps rambling on about all the different possibilities that could happen if I go up to the surface. I’ve already done it countless times before and I’m fine, but I know that bringing that up will not help my case. Not at all.

My brother enters the room, his eyes widening at the sight. I don’t know why he’s surprised. This happens regularly. He turns to exit, but my father adds, “You know what? If you’re going to act like a child, I’m going to treat you like one. Berwald- do not let your brother out of your sight, do you hear me?” What? Is he seriously asking my younger brother to look out for me? That’s so demeaning! But Berwald nods slowly, regretting entering the room. “That is so unfair! All I did was forget! And I’m sorry about it!” I protest, swimming forwards, clenching my fists. He just dismisses me, uttering in a stern but quiet voice, “Be quiet and go to your room, Mathias.”

I hate this life.

I wish I were free, free like the humans above the shore.

Free from all this.

Surely there’s much more to life than this.

*

I gave Berwald the slip, sneaking away when he was distracted talking to his boyfriend, Tino. All I wanted was to calm down somewhere, without his constant eye. So I headed to the cavern, my place where I keep all my gizmos and other human things. It’s my safe space, the place I go to relax, the place I go to whenever I need to cheer up. The place I go to when I need a private cry. It’s a haven, the only place where I feel I belong in this underwater life.

“Mads- everything ok?” Through my blurry vision I notice Leon has entered the cavern, this time a crab, scuttling across the floor. “No-” I choke between sobs, “I don’t understand why he can’t just let me live my life how I want. Why does he have to be so controlling?” My best friend appears by my scarlet tail, doing what I think is a frown. “Fathers, am I right?” He looks so funny as a crab that I begin to laugh. Why, Leon, why? Why does he insist on- I shake my head, crazy man. “What’s so funny?”

“You- you’re absolutely insane, you know that right?” I wheeze, wiping the tears from my eyes. “Now that’s just rude,” He jokes sarcastically, “But seriously Mathias, are you alright?” Now what do you think is the answer to that? This can’t be all my life has to offer. Surely there’s more. There has to be. My father just doesn’t understand me in the slightest and I’m fairly certain that Berwald’s his favourite. Perfect Berwald, who can do no wrong. Who remembers concert times, who always follows orders, who never speaks his mind, who never gets in trouble. Perfect, perfect Berwald. 

“Look at this place, my collection is growing, and one day it may be complete,” I gesture to the surrounding gizmos, “Looking around here at all these treasures you’d think, ‘sure, he’s got everything’.” Leon quiets down as I begin to flit around all the many gizmo-holders, grabbing a box, and opening it up so he can see. “I’ve got plenty of gizmos and gadgets, whozits and whatzits. Look at this, I have twenty thingamabobs. Surely I have everything, right?”

“Mathias-”

“But who cares? It’s no big deal. But I want more,” I sit down next to a particular whozit, a man and a women dancing, completely in love with each other. I twirl it around with my finger, a wistful expression on my face. “I want to be where the people are. I want to see them dancing, walking along on those, um,” I glance up at my crabby friend. “What do you call them?” He wiggles a little crab leg at me, and I remember, giggling, “Oh! Feet.”

“Flipping your fins will get you nowhere in life. Legs are required for jumping. Dancing. All I want is to stroll along that- what’s the word again? Street.”

“Mathias-” Leon tries to interject but I keep going, my lips twitching into a dreamy smile. All I do is swim higher, towards the light, one of the many echoes of human life in this cavern. It’s so beautiful, I just want to touch it. “Up where they walk, up where they run, up where they spend all day in the sun. Being free. That’s all I want, Leon. I just want to be part of their world.”

“Mathias, that’s great and all, but it’ll never happen. I’m sorry, it just won’t.” His voice is calling me, trying to bring me back down to reality. But I’m busy imagining what my life would be like, and there’s nothing that’s going to bring me back to reality at this point. I’m stuck in a happy fantasy, trying to forget everything that has happened.

I fall back down to the seabed, but it’s not me listening to Leon. No, I lay down on the rock, stretching out and continue, “I would give anything, absolutely anything, to live out of these waters. To spend the day warm on the sand. And you know what?” I sit up, staring at him (and Berwald who seems to have found me – but I don’t pay attention to that, I’m too far gone into the fantasy). “I bet up there, they understand and don’t reprimand you.” They’re quiet, finally understanding there’s nothing stopping me when I’m dreaming. “Bright young children. Sick of swimming. Ready to stand.” I do a somersault, feeling content with the image I’ve pictured. What a life it would be.

Having legs, walking, dancing, jumping, running.

Falling in love.

Feeling that person’s embrace.

Walking. Dancing. Jumping. Running.

Being free.

“I’m ready to know everything about them, get all my questions answered. For example,” I gesture towards the burning flame, atop a white stick, “What’s a ‘fire’? And why does it burn?”

“Mathias,” Berwald starts but I shrug him off. He goes quiet once more. I swim towards the light again, tearing up slightly. The longing becoming too much. It’s less of a fleeting fantasy. It’s more permanent, the sense I don’t belong down here. This isn’t where I’m supposed to be. I long for freedom. For the ability to walk. To dance. To jump. To run.

I want to be up there.

More than anything.

I would give anything to be part of that world.

I grasp at the light, not able to fit through the tiny hole. It wouldn’t make any difference. The tears are falling in large droplets, mixing with the salt water around me. I will never be able to live amongst humans. Never.

So I finally go back down to Leon and Berwald, finally willing to listen to reason. Berwald embraces me, tells me it’s ok to feel this way, that my father was just concerned for my safety, that living down here is much safer. I know he’s just trying to care for me, but my mind wanders elsewhere. Back to the other life I conjured up.

The life that will never ever happen.

We continue talking until a shadow descends over the entire cavern, coming from the hole at the top, the one that used to disperse light. “What the fuck-” Leon sighs, and then transforms into a dolphin. Berwald widens his eyes but says nothing. We head outside to find out what’s going on.

A large ship.

Floating, not sunken.

A ship.

Oh my God. It’s incredible.

I have to go up there. Nothing’s going to stop me.

Lukas

Despite having to work on my birthday, it all worked out for the best. My co-workers were nice enough to throw me a birthday party on top of the sailing boat. I wish Emil were here, but knowing him he’s probably tucked anywhere somewhere, painting. He’s most likely content. Plus he hates social situations. Guess that makes the two of us.

Which is why, when Jan is going on beside me, I just want the earth to swallow me up whole.

“I just can’t believe that you’re twenty-five and _single_ ,” He groans, and I roll my eyes in response, “This is your twenties for God’s sake! You’re supposed to be partying, a girl on each arm you know?” No, I don’t know. Parties are not my scene, too social, too loud, too messy, although I appreciate my co-workers’ effort. And the last thing I want is ‘a girl on each arm’. Ugh. Jan turns to me, noting my silence, “Come on, Lukas. You don’t want people to think that you’re gay-” Oh God. Please, don’t go down that route. Don’t remind me that I’m a huge disappointment to my family. Please. I don’t want to talk about this, especially not with Jan. This isn’t how I want to come out to my co-workers. Not at all.

“Now what’s so wrong with that, Jan? Spewing your viewpoints again, are you?” Harald. Thank the heavens. Someone saved me. “It’s not your fucking business, _Harald_ ,” He spits, glaring heavily, “All I’m saying is that Lukas needs to get a girlfriend soon, or people will think he’s gay. And we don’t want that.” It’s not your business either, Jan. You don’t get to decide when I come out. Only I get to decide that. And I don’t appreciate the reminder of how much everyone hates people like me. I know I’m broken. I know I’m weird. I’ve had enough reminders throughout my life of how I’m supposed to be, how I’m supposed to act. My sexuality is one thing I can’t control, that they can’t control, no matter how much they try.

No matter how much they would probably try to hide it, pretend it didn’t exist, continue with this view of a heterosexual Lukas Bondevik. Pretend I weren’t broken.

Pretend this isn’t how I really am.

They’d just try to disguise it to the whole world. Yes, I have been brought up to be ashamed of who I am, but I never want to hide it. Not in a million years.

It was stay and have heterosexuality forced upon me or leave and live my best queer life.

But it turns out life isn’t as black and white as I originally thought, like I’d been raised to believe.

There will always be people who assume you are straight, like Jan, and think gay people are the worst thing to ever happen to this planet. No matter how much you run, no matter how much you just try be normal. You can’t escape heteronormativity and you can’t escape homophobes.

I can’t even be free here. Typical.

“Well, that’s up to him now, isn’t it? You don’t get to choose who’s straight and who’s not, Jan. It’s not as simple as that. And being queer is never a bad thing, like you believe. No. If Lukas realises that’s he’s gay and wants to live his best life, then that’s his choice. If he realises he’s straight, or likes women in general, then he’ll decide when he wants to date someone or have those experiences. You don’t get to decide that. he can choose not to go to parties if he doesn’t want to. You don’t get to decide how someone lives their life, and you never will. Stop being such a dick.” Harald sighs once Jan mutters some curses under his breath and storms off once more. That’s usually how these things end.

“You ok?” He turns to me, a look of pity and concern spreading across his face, his hands shoved into his pockets. “I’m fine,” I choke out, trying to keep up a pretence. Completely fine. Just like everything in my life. Completely fine. Absolutely fine. Completely and utterly, in tip top condition, perfectly fine. “No you’re not. I know you Lukas, you pretend everything’s great when in reality you feel your entire world is falling apart around you. You are not fine. Don’t let that jerk get to you, whatever choices you make in life are your decisions and no one else’s. And certainly not _Jan’s_. Do not listen to him and let him get in your head. Take that from someone who has had plenty experience with people like him.”

I spread my hands out in surrender, casting my eyes downwards, “Ok, fine, you got me. Just my thoughts getting to me, that’s all. Thanks for your help though.” He takes me by the arm, dragging me to a corner of the ship away from everyone else. “I want to give you some advice, from someone my age to someone your age. Do whatever makes you happy in life. That may sound generic but it’s true. When I was your age, about 20 years ago, I was just like you. I didn’t want to go to parties, which, what is it you young people say? Ah, perfectly valid. That’s the phrase. I didn’t want to date anyone. I was still getting used to who I was, and it took a while to get to where I am now, but I got there.”

“So, if I do what makes me happy I’ll finally understand who I am, and get ‘used to myself’?” I groan, not for one second buying into the whole talk. Is this supposed to make me feel better? It’s not like anyone’s going to hold up a sign saying, ‘Congratulations Lukas, you’re gay and that’s ok!’. No. No they’re not. Because people don’t care about your love life until it comes to your sexuality. Unless they are really close to you no one cares until you aren’t heterosexual. Then people get way too involved in something which isn’t any of their business.

I’ve never known who I am. I was always the kid who was way too invested in magical creatures. The weird kid who never talked to anyone. The kid who was one day going to take his father’s place, doing what he did until I die. Then I became the kid with a soul crushing secret, one which would rule over his life forever. And I’m supposed to know who I am, to love who I am. But I don’t. I hate this life I’ve been given, with all society’s expectations. The only person who will ever understand me is Emil. Because he’s just as under the scrutiny of society’s expectations as I am. He’s the only one who understands. Harald means well, but he’ll never understand how much pressure I’m under to be a certain way.

“Wow, you really are feeling like crap, huh? Let me get you a drink,” He disappears for a second and the returns, glass of alcohol in hand. I take it, a thin smile stretching across my visage. “Thanks.” I down it quickly, the drink burning my throat, but I don’t care. “Listen to me Lukas, you’re lost right now, and that’s scary. And what I’m trying to tell you is that I went through that too. You remind me of myself, you realise that right? You may not be exactly the same, but there are elements of you I recognise as elements of myself.” He takes his hands out of his pockets for once and pats me on the shoulder, his salt and pepper hair falling into his eyes, his hand going up to fix his hair immediately after.

“This is going to make me sound really old, but when I was your age I was struggling with a lot of things, my sexuality being one of them. Now, I’m not saying that you are queer, you may not be, I don’t know. Now I’m happily married to the best husband in the world, I have an adorable baby girl and I’m content with my job, well, besides Jan existing that is.” The last part manages to force a small laugh out of me and his face lights up. “Everything is going to be ok; you’ll figure things out eventually and then you’ll be happy.” Perhaps. It just seems like I’ll never get there.

“So… you like men?”

“Oh yeah, absolutely. Whenever I’m watching something and there’s an attractive guy in it, I laugh at how I ever thought I was straight. So, yeah, I’m gay, and now I’m the happiest I’ve ever been with my husband.” He grins at me, and, placing my empty glass down, I smile too. “I guess you were right when you said that I’m like a younger version of you,” I laugh, flipping my hair out of my face (I really need to cut it or get something to hold it back), “God, we are too similar.” I feel better now, laughing and smiling seem to help.

“Really?”

“Yeah, I’m, um, you know…”

“Ah,” He pulls me into a hug, it’s so comforting and warm. “Well, take it from an older gay, it gets better, trust me. You’ll find someone, and he’ll be awesome. It gets better.” And as I’m burying my face into his chest, trying not to burst into tears, I manage to choke out another ‘Thank you’.

*

The party got better after that. I finally felt like I was partly understood by someone who wasn’t Emil. At least I have two people to confide in now. And I really need to start working on my view of myself, but that will take a while. Aside from that I was doing fine. Actually fine this time, not a pretence.

All I did was prop myself against the wall of the ship, gazing at nothing in particular. I was starting to relax, starting to enjoy myself, everything being normal for once in my life.

And then I saw him.

Wild untamed blond hair, wide unblinking eyes. A man, staring at me from outside the ship. But I’m too far away. I can’t make out his features well. All I think is: merman. It’s the only possible explanation. No one else could possibly be outside the ship in the water at this time of night, the water is too freezing, especially for Norwegian water.

I wonder if it’s the same one I saw before. The one with a red tail that I was convinced was a figment of my imagination.

But then I blink.

And he’s gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is finally up! Sorry to have kept you all waiting! XD
> 
> Translating a song into spoken word was... extremely hard and I kinda had a mental breakdown doing it but I'm fine now, and I hope it turned out ok! 
> 
> Just a small note: Mathias doesn't hate his brother Berwald. Sure, there's a bit of envy on Mathias' part but the two generally get along very well, Mathias is just hurt and confused, and taking his anger out on Berwald. Just wanted to clarify that the two have a good relationship so this chapter doesn't lead you to believe that Mathias hates his twin.
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed reading this chapter!   
> \- Peanutsfan1


	3. Fascination

Lukas

I’m not really focused on the party after that. I try but all my thoughts just revolve around the merman. I’m sure he was a merman. He had to be. I just… wow. It’s always so interesting once I meet another magical creature. Well, after you get over your initial fear the first few times, then it gets interesting. I’ve never met a merman before and to think I’m so close, wow. Wow wow wow wow wow.

I try make my way over there, to try see him closer, wary that even though I’m not afraid of him, he might be afraid of me. He did disappear immediately. Before I can get over there however, my colleagues grab me by the arm, pulling me over to another side of the ship to give me my presents (which they really didn’t have to get me). My eyes never leave the place where I saw him, longing to go over there but instead am trapped in a social interaction hell. Even when I unwrap my gifts, including a painting of myself (which is thoughtful but quite weird), my eyes soon return to where he was.

But I can never go over there.

Every time I try I get dragged into another conversation. All my attempts to get away are futile.

He’s probably swum away by now.

Dammit.

I don’t pay much attention to anything. I can’t help it. My mind just keeps wandering back to him, his wild untamed blond hair, his wide unblinking eyes. The image is burned into my brain, even if it were a split-second glance, I will not forget it anytime soon. I wish I got to talk to him. I wish I got to see him up close.

I might never see him again and that’s what saddens me most.

I don’t pay much attention to anything. Not when my co-workers get out a birthday cake. Not when they all sing to me. Not when I shove a slice of the cake in my mouth. My mind is so concentrated on the merman that I don’t even register its taste. I don’t even pay attention when the waters get more agitated, our boat rocking pretty hard as each wave slams against it. I don’t pay attention as the sky darkens, thunder rumbling.

I probably should have paid more attention to things, like my co-workers rushing around to secure the ship whilst rain plops onto my face, one droplet at a time.

If I paid more attention to what was happening around me then I probably would have noticed when lightening struck the sails, causing them to set alight, rather than looking at where the merman was.

When I finally snap back to reality, oh God, am I suddenly terrified. Stuck on a half burning ship, waves washing my co-workers into the ocean as they secure lifejackets. Oh shit. Oh shit oh shit oh shit. Lukas, you daydream at the worst of times, don’t you! Shit!

Rushing to grab a lifejacket, I suddenly fall and trip, my foot lodged between two broken floorboards. Oh for God’s sake! I going to die, aren’t I? All because I was daydreaming about a merman. I turn, trying to yank my foot out of the floorboards, noticing a wave getting higher and higher, ready to crash down onto the ship. I’m either going to burn alive or drown. Shit. I have to get my foot out! Shit shit shit shit shit!

So there I am, foot caught between two broken floorboards, seemingly not wanting to budge, heavy rain pouring down onto me, clouding my vision, a huge wave ready to probably drown me, the fire climbing higher and higher, getting closer and closer, overwhelming the ship. I’m the only person left, everyone else had jumped off or got swept off. No one can help me but me.

Shit.

My yanking is becoming more frantic by the second. Come on! Please. Please work. Please work. I don’t want to die. I seriously don’t. I had just decided to that I was going to work on my view of myself as well! Come on!

I’m getting tired, my breaths short and quick, and decide to give my foot one last yank, all my strength put into it.

And when I do just that, two things happen.

One, my foot comes loose, and I am filled with a sudden sense of joy, a smile creeping across my face.

Two, the joy is short lived as the boat blows up seconds after.

Mathias

Leon had finally convinced me after ages to go, the chances of being seen were increasing by the minute the longer we stayed. And we’ve decidedly to never discuss the fact that we were spotted. Even if it was by the cutest guy I have ever seen.

Well, I would’ve gone if the boat didn’t blow up the second after I swam away.

The boat. That had people on it. Including the guy.

Holy fucking shit.

So I ignore Leon (we gave Berwald the slip a while ago so he wouldn’t tell)(so I only have to worry about Leon) and swim back towards the boat, skilfully dodging the debris floating in the water. I keep my eyes out for any humans so I know who needs my help or who might possibly spot me and put all the merfolk in danger. It’s a hard task, but I know that I can do it if I try hard enough.

I can’t just leave people here, for them to drown. I don’t care what rules my father has, I can’t leave people to die.

And then I see him.

Sinking fast, unconscious, blond curls spilling in every direction possible as he falls. The human that spotted me earlier. He’s drowning. He needs my help. Fuck.

I twist and turn through the many various floating and sinking objects until I’m mere inches away from him. He’s even more gorgeous up close. But now’s not the time for me to be a gay mess, so I scoop him into my arms and flicking my tail, heading towards the surface where he can actually breathe.

When I get up there, it seems evident he’s not waking up anytime soon. I have to get him to land. Even though I’m going to have to break so many fucking rules and risk being grounded and kept under close watch for the rest of my life. I don’t care. Him being alive is more important than my freedom. I have to do this.

“Mathias!” Leon yells, appearing by my side, “What are you doing?”

“Saving his life! I’m taking him to land!”

Sighing heavily, Leon reluctantly groans, “Ok, I’m in.”

And so we start the journey, keeping him above the surface of the water, avoiding everything else.

It takes ages. Hours probably. It’s a long distance to cover and we’re both not familiar to the area.

Until we catch sight of the shore, the sky now bright and blue. It’s daytime but we’re here. And hopefully he’ll be ok.

Placing him down on the shore, the closest I’ve ever been to a human and the closest I’ve ever been to land, I stroke the curls out of his eyes, fiddling in my small gizmo keeper for something I know will be perfect on him. It’s a small cross, with this weird pointy thing sticking out the back. I brush stray hair out of his face, pinning it with the small cross. Perfect. I knew it would suit him.

He’s breathing at least. His chest heaves up and down slightly, installing a sense of relief in me. He’s not dead. Thank fuck.

Everything seemed to be fine. That is, until I realised I’d made one fatal error.

“What on earth…?”

I’d forgotten to check that there weren’t any other humans nearby.

Emil 

I guess I lost track of the time. I often do when I paint and get in the zone. It took the sun rising for me to realise I never slept, and that I’d stayed out here all night. If Lukas weren’t at that birthday party he would have gone ballistic. I’m glad that he was, I don’t need to be yelled at right now. It was an honest mistake, to be fair. Well, a mistake I’ve made countless times before. This always tends to happen when I take my hearing aids off to paint.

With not much noise comes not many distractions. A blessing and a curse I say.

If Lukas finds out I accidently pulled an all-nighter again, he’s going to kill me. That’s why I’ve got to keep this a secret, cover my tracks. Oh God, what time is it? Placing down my brushes, I grab my hearing aids next to me and put them on, gazing out into the distance as they boot up. I don’t even pay much attention to it anymore after constant use throughout the years. Now… where did I put my phone?

Glancing around, I notice something else. Something that is certainly not my phone. Something weird but honestly, not that unusual in comparison to everything else in my life. A merman, pulling a person up onto land. A merman.

Well that’s a first, I note to myself, counting through my list of magical creatures I’ve seen. Yep, no merfolk before. I tidy up my stuff around me, making sure that it’s all in an orderly place before getting down off of the rock and climbing down to the shore.

The closer I get, the more detail I take in in terms of his tail. Wow, that is some shade of red he has going on there. I wonder if merfolk tails are determined by genes like human’s eye colour? What controls the shape, the colour, any other possible factors? Ok, Emil, you always hated science so let’s not get your brain focusing on that.

As he’s brushing the hair out of the person’s face, I realise who it is. Lukas. Oh my God. Why is my brother unconscious?

“What on earth…?” I let out; my words strained from not talking to anyone for hours. The merman makes eye contact and freezes, like he’s caught red handed. His eyes widen to the size of plates, mouth dropping open slightly until he mumbles something I can’t quite hear but I read his lips in order to make it out. Just a curse word. I didn’t miss much it seems.

I look back down at my unconscious brother again and quickly add: “Is he ok? Is he breathing?” The merman frowns slightly, looking down at Lukas (who now has a cross hair clip in his hair?)(when did that happen?), “He is breathing,” And then back at me, saying something that I can’t quite make out apart from “humans”, “freak out” and “merman”. Humans, freak out, merman. Humans freak out when they see a merman, perhaps? And I’m not. Oh. I think I got it.

“I’ve had… numerous encounters with magical creatures.” I hope to God I worked that out right. There’s nothing more embarrassing for me than working out context clues wrong. “Ah cool!” He adds, his gaze wandering, observing every little detail of me I assume. He hasn’t mentioned any verbal slip up of mine, so I think I managed to work out what he was saying correctly. Thank goodness.

His gaze continues to drift across me and stops when he reaches my ears. Must have spotted my hearing aids. “I like your colourful boxes!” He exclaims, grinning, much more relaxed now. “Oh, um, thank you.” His smile gets wider at my reply.

“What do they do?” The merman adds, his gaze now one of awe. I’m bewildered, to say the least, but I answer regardless (no harm in doing so)(plus, I’m not ashamed of my deafness). “Some humans have trouble hearing things. I’m one of them, so I wear these and they help me.”

“That’s so cool!” He breathes, eyes widening once more but from wonder instead of fear this time, “Humans are amazing!” I mean, they’re not, but I’ll let you believe that. I don’t want to list every single problem there is with humans to this merman, he seems to happy and I don’t want to rain on his parade. Something about the merman’s enthusiasm makes me smile.

Why is it that merfolk seem to understand me being hard of hearing better than actual humans? The amount of people who’ve slowed down their pace of talking or practically shouted to ‘make sure I hear them’. That’s not how it works, idiots. If you talk in a normal tone of voice I’ll be able to hear you most of the time. Like how this merman is talking to me. Honestly! And… now I’m getting pissed off. I’ve always had a short temper. Let’s calm down Emil, shall we?

“Hi, I’m Mathias!” He extends his hand out towards me and I shake it. “I’m Emil, it’s nice to meet you.”

“I’d like to thank you, as well,” I begin and our eyes meet once more, his expression turning to one of curiosity. “Well, firstly, you were very nice about my hearing aids. Some people aren’t. And secondly, that guy that you helped… that’s my older brother, Lukas. Thank you for saving his life. I owe you one.”

“You… owe me one? What does that mean?” He cocks his head a bit in confusion, causing his wild hair to flop over to the side.

“It basically means if you ever need help, then I’ll help you because you’ve helped me before.”

“Oh! I get it!” He exclaims, lips stretching into a grin once more. He… smiles a lot, doesn’t he? Mathias then glances back down at Lukas, his grin becoming softer as he mutters something I can’t quite pick up on. Reading his lips once more, I deducted that he muttered “Lukas” although I’m not quite sure why. If I didn’t know better, I would guess that Mathias had a small crush on Lukas. But that’s silly. It must just be fascination. I bet merfolk don’t come across many humans if they can help it.

Underneath him, Lukas twitches, eyes opening ever so slightly. He’s waking up. I turn to Mathias, “I think you better go - he’s waking up. Thank you again for all your help. I can take it from here.” The blond merman nods and uses his arms to push himself back into the ocean. Once he’s done, he waves at me and smiles, making sure not too make any noise. Allowing my lips to twitch slightly, I wave back at him, and then return my attention to my brother.

Mathias

I spoke to a human! Wow! I actually had a conversation with a human (who was very cool)! Not only that, but I learnt the cute guy’s name!

Lukas. It suits him. It really really suits him.

I can’t believe that just happened.

So I swim a few paces and then hide behind a nearby rock, watching as ‘Lukas’ sits up, glancing at his brother. From what I can see, they do this sort of strange talking, making their hands dance instead of moving their lips. Since I don’t know why their hands are dancing, I stare in awe, smiling. Humans are so cool.

And then I’m filled with the sense of longing once more. Longing to be part of their world.

The two humans get up and leave after a few minutes, leaving me staring at nothing but the waves hitting the sand (at least I got to lay on the sand)(that was awesome). I’m left alone (well, besides Leon) and all I think about is _him_.

Lukas…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, I'd just like to thank all the people who read over a part of this chapter to make sure I portrayed Ice being hard of hearing alright. Your feedback was massively appreciated even if I only had one small correction to make I appreciate all of you taking time out of your days to help me out! Thank you so so much Elliott, Wolf and Lilu!
> 
> So... my writing schedule said I wasn't supposed to write this chapter until next month but I had a burst of motivation and longing so here it is early! (I'll still update next month anyway so y'all are getting a bonus lmao) I really enjoyed writing this chapter as it means we are getting closer and closer to the part where Den will become human (which is where I will still changing aspects of the original plotline so y'all won't know what'll happen next!)
> 
> Anyways, I hope you all enjoyed and I'll see you in the next one!   
> ~Peanutsfan1


	4. The lonely, miserable, and depressed

“Listen to me now, Mads,” Berwald stares down his twin, anxious that the events of yesterday were to never ever happen again. It was one thing to save a human, that Berwald could understand slightly, but his brother was _seen._ He could be potentially endangering them all if he kept up this stupid reckless behaviour. His brother huffs, blowing hair out of his face as Berwald continues, “Look, the human world is a mess. Life down here is so much better.”

The older twin rolls his eyes, flopping on the closest rock, trying to cast his thoughts back to Lukas. However, Berwald does not respect his wishes, “Other places always look better than where you are now, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they _are_ better. You dream about going up to the surface but clearly you don’t realise that that is a big mistake.”

“Ber, I’m sorry I was seen, ok? I don’t need a whole lecture; the guy isn’t going to tell anyone! He said he’s had plenty of run-ins with magical creatures!” Mathias sighs, dying from boredom already. No one needs a full-on lecture from their younger brother ever, in his opinion. “You are so naïve!” Berwald laments as he readjusts his glasses, “’Had run-ins with magical creatures’ Mathias that man could have been _lying_ to you! This is the problem here; you are way too trusting for your own good!”

“Perhaps I like to see the best in people, ever think of that-”

“And besides, people up there work all day long in the sun, whereas we get to swim and do nothing,” The younger brother keeps rattling on, pacing around with a flick of his tail. “And down here, the fish are happy. You know what fish are up there? Unhappy. Why? Because they are stuck in a bowl. They have freedom down here, as do you.” ‘He doesn’t realise how wrong he is’, Mathias thinks, gazing up and watching the fish swim around, just doing their thing, ‘I have no freedom down here and I never will’.

“At least up there, the fish in the bowl are lucky. You know what happens when a human gets hungry? The fish are then on that person’s plate and they get eaten, Mathias! Humans are monsters who don’t care about any species other than their own.”

“I don’t think you know what you’re talking about, Ber-”

His brother turns round and glares, “I think I know more than you, Mathias. You’re the one who’s trying to get us all killed.” He keeps rambling on, trying to talk some sense into his older brother as Mathias slips out and swims away before he notices.

*

“Berwald? May I have a word?” His father pokes his round into Berwald’s room. The man nods and follows him through, floating patiently whilst the other sits down on his throne. Internally, Berwald panics, mind immediately jumping to yesterday’s events. ‘I’m so goddamn screwed’, he sweats, eyes unknowingly widening. “Listen- I’m so so sorry, dad. I didn’t mean for it to happen- Mathias- he slipped out while I wasn’t looking and then it was too late-” He bows down, breathing heavily, knowing how terrifying his father is when he’s angry. ‘At least if I confess he can’t get very mad at me’.

“I- I was about to ask if Mathias had a crush on someone, he’s been in a good mood today. What are you talking about?” He frowns in confusion, scratching the side of his head. “I, um, please don’t freak out,” His son begins timidly, avoiding his gaze, cursing inwardly about what is about to happen to his brother, but he knows he has to do this. His father will just get angrier if this is kept from him – he’s bound to find out eventually, it’s inevitable. Mathias is going to hate him, he knows, but he has to do this. For the safety of all merfolk.

“Mathias went up to the surface and got spotted by a human. I’m so sorry, I tried to keep an eye on him, and I failed. I’m so so sorry, Dad.”

Mathias

“Can you believe it, Leon? I helped a human! And then,” I add with a burst of vigour and excitement, “I got to meet and talk to a human! An actual human had a conversation with me! He was so calm as well, calm, and sweet. And he thanked me, Leon, a human thanked me for my help! It was _incredible_!” My best friend looks up at me from the seabed, this time a tiny seahorse (makes me what to pat his little head)(which he would hate but oh well) and muses, “Ok, it did seem pretty cool and it’s nice how you helped that guy, what’s his name?”

“Lukas,” I say immediately, the one name that has been circling round my head for hours on end. Lukas Lukas Lukas. Gorgeous name for a gorgeous man. “Well, all I’ll say is that you made that family very happy, which is why you deserved that guy’s thanks. Thanks to you, his brother is still alive. You did a great thing, Mathias.” I finally can’t resist any more, so I pat his little head, allowing myself to smile. He glares in response but doesn’t do anything about it, making me smile more. “Besides, that guy was kinda cute.”

“Lukas? Yeah, I know right?” I gaze into the distance, a (what I can assume) to be a dreamy expression blossoming across my face. Leon looks shocked (well, as shocked as a seahorse can look), “Huh- what- no, I meant the other one, the one you held a conversation with. He was really cute.” Oh, so Leon likes Emil? That’s pretty cool. We both fall into silence as our thoughts wander elsewhere, mine to Lukas, Leon’s possibly to Emil, but I can’t tell for certain. I can’t read his mind after all.

“Oh yeah! I forgot! I have something to give to you!” Leon perks up and then bobs along, towards one of the cavern’s corners, trying to pick up something but failing due to his miniscule size. Finally he decides to opt for a more practical form, becoming a dolphin once more (it’s one of his favourite forms) and brings over a painting. Oh my God, it’s the very painting of Lukas that was given to him last night!

“Leon, you managed to- I thought this was destroyed-,” I breathe as I run my fingers over it, looking in awe at the way the person has done his soft curls, his beautiful eyes, everything about it is absolutely stunning. Some people are so talented! “Turns out it wasn’t. I was just swimming along when I found it and I thought you would like it!” He grins and I return the gesture, happiness bubbling up inside my stomach. “I do! I really really do! Leon, I love it, thank you so much!”

Brushing my fingers over the artwork once more, I say to the painting in a mock pretend voice, “Why, Lukas? Run away with you? This is all so, so sudden.” I collapse onto the seabed, giggling. There’s silence from Leon and I wonder if everything’s ok, so I turn around to him.

Holy fucking shit. No. Please say I’m dreaming.

Please tell me that isn’t my father at the entrance of the cavern, Berwald behind him not meeting my eyes. Please tell me that’s not Leon, hiding in a corner, trying not to be spotted even though he’s not currently in his usual form. Please tell me that’s not my father with his face like thunder.

But it is.

And I know I’m screwed.

*

Afterwards, I’m left on the seabed, curled up and sobbing, my throat burning and my eyes stinging. He didn’t just- no- he couldn’t have-

But every time I look up, my eyes inspecting the wreckage around me, the shredded-up painting, the broken gizmos scattered around the floor, I am left with the knowledge and pain that that did just happen.

I fucking hate my life. I wish there were some way I could escape. But there’s not. And there never will be.

“I’m so sorry, Mathias. I really am,” I hear, Berwald, utter regret rolling off of him in huge waves. I don’t reply, my throat still burning with every choking sob. Leon swims up next to me but I don’t look at him. I can’t. My vision’s too blurred, the ever-present reminder that I don’t belong here growing larger and larger.

I have to get out of here some way. Even if it kills me. I cannot stay here any longer.

“Can the both of you leave please? I need some alone time right now.” From what I can tell, they nod and leave, leaving me by myself to continue to cry.

Well, that was the plan, at least.

“Poor child,” Someone tuts, floating in front of me. Rubbing the tears out of my eyes, I notice it’s an eel, another one floating at the entrance to the cavern. “He just doesn’t understand,” The eel’s voice is soothing, calming as I start taking deep breaths and sniffle. I nod in agreement. I don’t quite understand why my father has to be the way he is, though I think this all started happening after my mother died. He ‘protects’ us so much that it’s not protecting, instead it’s not allowing us to make any sort of mistakes that we need to learn from. And then if you do make a mistake, you get yelled at.

“He just doesn’t understand your fascination and longing, dude. But we do,” The other one comes up to me, it’s blue head bobbing up and down as it nods. “You know what you should do?” The first one starts, smiling at me as it bears its teeth (a well meant but terrifying image), “You should go see Arthur. He’d be able to fix this situation.”

“Arthur?” I ask, the name not ringing a bell.

“Arthur the sea witch of course, he can provide a solution to your problem and then you won’t have to long much longer, dude!” Its blue head bobs up and down again frantically. Sea witch…? Leon’s father? “I’m not sure about that,” I state, the countless times Leon told me about his father coming back to me.

_“Listen, Mathias. Never go to my father under any circumstance. Ever. Promise me, ok?”_

_“I promise, Leon.”_

Leon must be adamant for a reason, right? And he’s my best friend. I should listen to him. But a voice echoes in the back of my mind: ‘You said you would get out of this place even if it killed you – you would do anything, remember?’. I try shake the thoughts away, alarming the eels in front of me.

“It’s not that bad! Sure, Arthur has had a bad reputation in the past, but he’s changed now, mon cher!” The first eel looks at me earnestly, and I gaze into its eyes, looking for any signs of distrust. I find none. The voice repeats itself in the back of my head louder. These eels seem so genuine, they just want to help. Perhaps I should…?

“Come on, let’s go make your dream come true,” The second eel outstretches a fin and I stare at it for a moment, my mental debate continuing before I take it.

Anything to get away from this place.

Leon

Great, I try do something nice for a friend and now it’s destroyed, Mathias is crying thanks to his father once more and we’re back to square one. I’ve been debating whether going up to that ship was a good idea, whether it’s just caused Mathias more suffering because now he has a taste of what life could be like. I wish I could help him, I really do.

If only my magic wasn’t at an amateur’s level, especially when it comes to spells on other people. Otherwise I would transform Mathias. But it’s too much of a risk. I’ve never practiced the spell for others, and I don’t know whether it would result in serious side effects or go completely wrong. Heck, I’ve never even used my own shape shifting abilities to become a human myself. There’s too much risk for the time being.

However, I don’t think Mathias would be able to hold out much longer. As someone who lives with a nightmare of a father, I know what he’s going through. I can handle it though, but Mathias can’t, he’s far too sensitive to deal with all the yelling and disagreements that continuously happen.

I wish I could help him, ease his suffering but I just don’t know.

At least he’ll never go talk to my father-

About a second later it seems I have been proven wrong. Mathias is swimming along, or rather, being guided by Alfred and Francis, my father’s pet eels who do his every bidding. Seriously, Mathias? Seriously?

Smacking my fin to my face, I sigh. I thought he knew better than this, but, evidently, he does not. The amount of times I’ve told him never to go to my father as well! He’s going to get himself stuck in an impossible situation which will ultimately end up with his soul going to my father, knowing him.

For fuck’s sake, Mathias!

As he swims overhead, I sigh again and hiss, “What are you doing, Mathias?” He glances down at me and immediately his face fills with guilt, “I’m sorry, Leon. But I have to do this.” The eels pick up the pace and they disappear off quickly, leaving me yelling into the distance, “No you don’t!” before following after, trying with every inch of my body to make sure he doesn’t sign that deal.

When I arrive at my ‘home’, I shudder at all the collected souls reaching out from the floor (always creeps me out every single time), fearing that this might be Mathias’ fate. Unfortunately, he’s already talking to my father and, before I can step in, Alfred and Francis wrap themselves around me tightly, making sure I can’t get to him, covering my mouth.

Goddammit Mathias! Why did you have to do this? Why? You’re making a mistake. A big one. One that might destroy your life. You want freedom? Well, you’re not going to get freedom when your soul belongs to my father! Trust me, he will find a way to ruin whatever thing you have to accomplish, it will be unobtainable and then you will be his! God, I am so furious at him right now!

“So…” My father begins, an evil smirk stretching across his cheeks as he observes Mathias, “The only way to get what you want is to become a human yourself!” Mathias’ eyes widen, giving him an innocent look (oh good, another compelling reason why this will work)(he trusts people far too often for his own good), “Can you do that?” My father floats around him, tentacles flaying this way and that, smirking more, “My dear, sweet child. That’s what I do, to help poor unfortunate merfolk like yourself. Poor souls with no one else to turn to.”

If only Mathias could have waited a few years, then perhaps I would have been able to help him, without the menace and deadlines and evil plotting. But I know in my heart he wouldn’t have been able to last that long. Today was the last straw and he’s desperate, so desperate to get out of here, to have freedom. This isn’t even about that human guy he likes - he just wants an escape away from here. Poor guy.

Sighing, my father makes direct eye contact with Mathias, “Look, I admit in the past I’ve been nasty, and that’s why they called me a ‘witch’. But now I’ve mended my ways and fortunately I know a little magic,” Some of which he demonstrates with a flourish, the cave lighting up as the colours dance round his fingers before fading away, “It’s something I’ve always possessed. And lately I’ve been using it to help people like yourself, the lonely, miserable and depressed.” My best friend frowns slightly at the choice of words but soon quickly goes back to watching in awe.

“Once there was someone longing to be thinner, another wanted to get the girl and I helped them. I obviously did! It’s my job, of course,” He smiles more, and my entire knowledge of my father’s true nature doesn’t let me perceive it as anything but malicious. “However, once, or twice, they couldn’t pay the price and I’m afraid I’ve had to be mean. Ok, I’ve had the odd complaint, but on the whole I’ve been a saint.”

“Now,” He pulls Mathias close, “This is the important part: You will have a week. You hear me? A week. Before the sun sets on the seventh day, you’ve got to get him to fall in love with you, well, he’s got to kiss you. And it has to be a kiss of true love.” Mathias watches in awe, my father’s magic seemingly enchanting. “If he does kiss you before the sun sets, you’ll remain a human _permanently._ But, if he doesn’t, you turn back into a merman and,” He leans in close, a sinister expression occupying his face, “You’ll belong to me. Now, child, do we have a deal?”

Mathias frowns a bit once more, “If I become human, I’ll never get to see my father or brother again.” That’s it, don’t agree with it. Please Mathias, I’m begging you do not go through with this. All my father does is chuckle, “But you’ll have your man,” Then follows it up with a tut as I frown deeper, “Life’s full of tough choices, isn’t it? Oh! And one more thing, we haven’t discussed payment.”

His eyes widen in fear, “But I don’t have-”

“I’m not asking much! Just a small token, really.” Oh, here we go. Watch this shit unfold. “What I want from you is, your voice.” Yeah, like Mathias Køhler would ever give up talking. Swing and a miss, father. Having no voice would drive him insane.

“But without my voice how can I-”

My father chuckles once more, but clearly getting agitated, “You’ll have your looks, your pretty face – and don’t underestimate the importance of body language! Besides, human men don’t like to talk much, they’re not that impressed with conversation, gentlemen avoid it when they can. But they dote over those who are withdrawn, they’re the ones who get the man!”

He frowns, clear wrinkles showing up on face. He’s getting impatient. Almost there Mathias, you can do it. Don’t sign a contract under any circumstances. “Come on, I’m a busy man and don’t have all day. Make your choice, it won’t cost much, only your voice! If you want to cross the bridge, sweet child, you’ve got to pay the price. Take a gulp and sign the scroll!” Don’t do it.

I swear to God Mathias if you sign that thing-

But he reaches out, takes the pen, and signs his name. And my hopes of Mathias not making the biggest mistake of his life go promptly, well, down the drain.

Grinning wildly, he waves his hands over the cauldron, muttering, “Beluga sevruga, come winds of the Caspian sea, larengix glaucitis, et max laryngitis, la voce to me.” He turns to Mathias, holding out his shell necklace, “Now sing.” My best friend obeys to my dismay, letting his voice fill the cave, his neck glowing as a result of the magic. Then suddenly his voice is pulled out of him, a glowing orb echoing his last sounds. He clutches his neck in surprise, watching it float into the shell necklace.

Afterwards, he begins to transform, his tail splitting in two and becoming legs, just like he wanted. He immediately widens his eyes and I realise he can’t breathe. If I don’t get him out of here he’ll die. So I finally manage to break free from Alfred and Francis’ grip and mutter a quick transformation, becoming a merman. I grab hold of Mathias and pull him out of the cave, cursing inwardly the entire time.

Berwald, Mathias’ brother it seems, notices us, mutters a quick curse, and helps me. Together we pull him up to the surface. Mathias gasps for breath and calms down when air fills his lungs.

And then together, we swim towards the surface. I’m going to spend the entire trip worrying what exactly we’ll do about the situation once we get there.

Oh, Mathias. You don’t realise what mess you’ve just signed yourself up for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Am I sticking to my writing schedule for this fanfic? No. Do I care? Also no because I have tons of motivation for this XD  
> Also, this is, thankfully, the last time I will ever have to translate a song into spoken word. Yes, I know there's still one song left (kiss the girl) but I have p l a n s. So this is officially the last time I will ever have to go through that nightmare and I am very glad. 
> 
> This was quite an eventful chapter and so will the next one be I think! Hope you enjoyed and I'll see you soon!


	5. Emil has to face the unfortunate truth that he is a side character in a Disney movie

Mathias

I sit in amongst the small waves which lap over me, before rushing to the shore and then back over me once more. Internally, I’m still reeling. That… just happened. I really just did that, huh. Though I probably should have thought it through more because if my brother and Leon hadn’t had been there, I would have drowned. Oops.

I glance at my hands, although I’m not quite sure why as nothing about them changed but I do and then my vision slowly drifts away and downwards. There’s no red tail to greet me anymore, in its place two pale, freckled legs. Legs. Lifting one up, I smile, a soundless giggle echoing in the back of my throat.

Oh yeah, I forgot I did that. Fuck. Why did I trade my voice? I love talking. Fuck fuck fuck fuck why do I always do things on impulse?

Bonus though: I’m finally human and I have legs! I can now walk, dance, leap and run. I can finally be _free._

“Oh God,” I hear Leon’s voice and turn to him, watching as he makes himself comfortable, resting on his black tentacles, “What on earth are we going to do?” I blink at him, not really certain how to answer that. His face rests in his hands as he groans and I go to say something out of impulse, but when I open my mouth no sound comes out and I’m gaping like a fish. Fuck. This is going to be hard. When he lifts his head out of his hands he glares at me like he’s never done so before.

“What the hell were you thinking! How many- how many goddamn times Mathias- do I have to tell you- what a shitty person my father is- before you actually get it! Look at what you’ve done, oh my _God_!”

But I can’t say anything. Can’t justify my choices (even if I do ever so slightly regret them). All I’m left to do is give him a sad smile to try convey that I’m sorry I didn’t listen.

“I mean, have you even thought this through?” That’s a no but I think if I tell him that, he’ll just get angrier. I’ll stay quiet then, well, not really like I have a choice in the matter. Fucking dammit self. “How are you supposed to…?” Leon continues, frowning the entire time until he pauses, eyes widening, “Mathias, you don’t even know if he’s gay! You’re supposed to make this guy fall in love with you and he could be straight. Oh my God!” Defeated, he slumps into the water, face palming once more.

I-

He has a point.

Oh God, I did not think this through.

Please don’t be straight, please please please Lukas. There’s too much riding on this. Please.

Fuck.

Berwald’s extremely quiet, which isn’t unlike him, but I would have thought he would have exploded by now too, especially since Leon is so calm and level-headed most of the time. When we lock eyes, he drags his gaze away immediately, refusing to make eye contact with me. So that’s how it’s going to be, huh?

I turn to Leon instead, who does make eye contact, albeit with an extremely annoyed and disappointed expression. “What,” He begins quietly, mumbling, “What exactly do you expect me to do? I- Mathias- I’m really mad at you right now. The amount of times I told you- I thought that would be enough but you just don’t _listen_ \- I just, I don’t understand why on earth I should help you.”

My stomach sinks as he continues to look at me with that look, one of helplessness and hurt. I’ve completely and utterly betrayed his trust. Oh fuck. I’m so sorry, Leon, I- If I had a voice I would tell you that I never meant to hurt you, that I was so desperate to get out of there that I would do anything, but I never wanted to harm our friendship, a friendship that means more to me than anything. I don’t want to lose you, Leon.

I admit, I fucked up, I didn’t think this through, I was an idiot who made an impulsive decision and that I definitely cannot do this alone. I understand you are mad, and you have every right to be, but I need your help. I really do. I love you, Leon, you’re my best friend and you always will be, even if you don’t want to be mine anymore.

But I don’t have a voice, due to my own foolishness. So I can’t say it. All I can do is mouth a small “sorry” though I know deep down in my heart that won’t change anything.

My best friend stares at me, “Are you- are you crying?” I am? Oh fuck, I am. The tears are trailing down my cheeks, out of control and I sniffle, wrinkling my nose. I bring my hands up to wipe them, feeling weird that I’m crying without much noise (this silence is going to take some getting used to). Then Leon does something I didn’t think he’d do. He reaches over and hugs me, my head nestled into the crook of his neck.

“Hey,” He says softly, “It’s gonna be ok. I may be mad as hell with you, but I didn’t mean the last thing I said. I’ll help you, Mads. Of course I will. Because I’m not letting my father get your soul, ok? It’s gonna be ok. We’ll work this out.” I nestle further as he strokes my hair, muttering over and over again, “It’s gonna be ok, we’ll work this out.”

Emil

I smile as I add more strokes to my painting, one of the sea and sky as normal, but this time with some details from yesterday, mainly Mathias the merman, lying beside my brother, a wistful expression on his face. It’s a challenge, for sure, I’ve never drawn a merman before, but I’ve reached a point where I’m semi-happy with it, so I stop rubbing out my pencil outline and started painting. Glancing up to get the perfect colour for the sea, I notice an odd scene.

Three people from what my squinting tells me which is a) a surprise because barely anyone comes to this stretch of the beach, b) certainly odd because I think I see another merfolk’s tail. What are the odds? What’s this, twice in two days? Damn, this spot is busy with merfolk at the minute.

So I go down once more, getting more confused with every step closer, noting a merman, a I-don’t-know-what-that-is that’s half human half (I wanna say octopus? Or is squid better?) I-don’t-know (like I said, I hate science) and what looks like Mathias, only he is naked and has legs instead of his scarlet tail. My hands instinctively rush to cover my eyes upon realising this, but I opt for just holding it out over that part of my vision. Gross. I should not have had to see that.

Mathias brightens when he sees me, mouth stretching into his signature grin and waving rapidly. Not moving my hand from its space where it is certainly blocking the view of _that_ , I greet them, “Uh, hi. What is going on here?” The I-don’t-know-what looks at me, brushing their long brown hair out of their eyes, mouth stretched into a slight grimace, “Oh, it’s you.” It’s me? I… don’t know you?

“I’m sorry,” I begin, “Have we met before?” I pretty sure I would remember if I had met whatever this person happens to be. Their ears turn a bit redder as they glance at the waves lapping over their lap, not meeting my gaze, “Oh, um, not technically… but I was there when you talked to Mathias yesterday.” They were? The former merman smiles when his name is mentioned but still doesn’t talk, which seems unlike him (we only talked once but I gained the impression he’s very… social).

The I-don’t-know-what looks back at me and sticks out their hand, “Hi, I’m Ka Lung ‘Leon’ Wong-Kirkland, shapeshifter and Mathias’ best friend.” Their voice is masculine, but I don’t want to make any assumptions yet. I shake their hand, “Hello, Emil Bondevik, nice to meet you,” Looking back at Mathias I ask, “What exactly is going on here? Why is Mathias… not a merman? Is he a shapeshifter too or something?”

Out of the corner of my eye I notice Mathias trying to stand up, which forces me to move my hand, grin widely as he stands on his legs, wobble slightly, then slightly more and finally tumbles over and falls back into the water. He’s still smiling though. Strange guy.

“Nah, Mathias isn’t a shapeshifter, no,” They sigh, looking exasperated, “It’s a long story but Mathias here decided to sell his voice to a sea witch in exchange for legs and now he has what- a week? To get a guy to fall in love with him.” Leon’s voice cracks as they glare at Mathias (who tries to stand up once more and fails again), “A guy he doesn’t even know if he’s gay or not.” Oof. Yeah, that’s a tough one. The rest of the words sink in and my eyes widen.

Hold on-

Sea witch-

Sell his voice-

Exchange for legs-

Limited amount of time for someone to fall in love with him-

Holy shit this sounds like The Little Mermaid. Also, there was a shipwreck, my brother almost drowned, Mathias saved his life… Hold on a minute, does Mathias actually have a crush on _Lukas_? And also, am I the side character in a Disney movie? Oh please God do not say that I am. Enough things in my life are out of the ordinary I don’t need this too. I will not be a side character in a gay version of The Little Mermaid. No sir, I will not. Not under any circumstances.

Mathias smiles sheepishly, noting the other person’s annoyance. “I probably know the answer to this but, who’s the guy?” The former merman grins sheepishly once more, avoiding my gaze. Leon says something which I can’t quite pick up but luckily I recognise them mouthing the name ‘Lukas’ and then hold their finger up triumphantly. So it _is_ Lukas! Turning around and going back to the shore a bit, I pick up an old sail and toss it at Mathias. Since I guess I’m living a movie, might as well move the plot along.

“Since you are currently butt naked, please wear that until I can get you some clothes. And for your information, Lukas is gay, he is very very gay so you’re lucky in that sense.” My words yesterday flood back to me, me saying that I owe him one. Oh no. Crap I’m a Disney side character. For God’s sake. Goddammit, there’s no way out of this is there. Plus my stupid conscience would rail me if I didn’t help. Dammit.

“Guess this is where the ‘I owe you’ applies, so come on, if you can stand I guess I’m now involved and am helping you.”

Sometimes you just have to take control of things yourself.

A little while later Mathias has managed to stay up on his feet, fastening the sail around him, still smiling. Leon sighs before mumbling, tentacles rapidly disappearing and replaced with legs, however unlike Mathias they are clothed. They stand tentatively, brushing down their black t-shirt, before glancing up once more. Damn. They’re cute.

My eyes lock with the other merman, a guy with blond hair, glasses, and a turquoise tail, “I promise I’ll do my level best to help and, if you want, we can all meet back here every night to let you know what’s happened.”

Smiling grimly, he nods, “I’d like that,” And then looks over at Mathias, “Please stay safe. I love you, dumbass.” Mathias returns the sad smile before mouthing ‘I love you too’. Afterwards, the merman turns and swims away, leaving me alone with Mathias and Leon.

Mathias takes the opportunity to sit down on a nearby rock, swinging his legs back and forth with a child-like grin touching his cheeks. Leon and I stand next to each other, they flash me a small awkward smile before turning away.

“So…” I anxiously begin and they turn towards me once more, “What are your pronouns if you don’t mind me asking? I use he/him pronouns.”

“Oh, um, I also use he/him pronouns,” His lips twitch slightly and I can’t tell whether it’s a nice smile or one of amusement.

“Ah, cool.”

What to say of my impression of Leon so far? Um, well, I think he’s kind of cute (though I would never ever say that out loud), he seems very… spacey, which reminds me of my brother in a sense, but it may just be the situation at hand, could be causing him to think of a plan. I don’t know. People… people are confusing, and I never quite understand them. Probably why I’m not something like a writer. It’s also why I mainly stick to landscape paintings.

Leon taps my shoulder and I zone back into reality, “I, um,” His ears redden, “Sorry for dragging you into this. It’s crazy, I know.”

I brush some stray hairs out of my face, “My entire life is crazy so honestly at this point I’m not surprised.” He laughs, a shy smile taking over his face afterwards. God, he really is cute.

“Thank you so much for helping us out with this. Mathias and I both know nothing about humans, and he can’t even talk now so this is going to be hard. We need as much help as we can get, so, yeah, I really appreciate you helping us out.”

“No problem. I mean, Mathias seems like a nice guy, so I don’t really mind trying to get my brother to fall in love with him. It’s not the worst thing to happen to my brother,” I laugh, “Besides, Lukas is the epitome of a gay mess, and that’s coupled with his awkwardness in social situations, this should be good for him.”

Something also tells me that Lukas still doesn’t feel comfortable with himself, and who he is in terms of his sexuality. Heck, I’m more comfortable in mine than him and I only discovered mine a few years ago. Though everyone is different, and I guess there was way more pressure on Lukas to be a certain way when growing up. As the youngest I didn’t really experience that to the same extent he did.

Mathias is a nice guy so hopefully being around him will help Lukas feel more comfortable in his own skin. I don’t know. I can only hope. For his awkward self, and for Mathias, who’s existence kind of hangs in the balance of this.

I glance up, the former merman still swinging his legs back and forth, and then in the distance, a man I know all to well coming this way. Lukas.

Pulling Leon behind the large rock with me, I hold my finger up to my lips, telling him to be quiet. God I hope merfolk recognise the ‘ssh’ gesture. His lips twitch, before dragging a finger and thumb across his lips, twisting at the end. I’m confused for a second before realising he’s doing the gesture of locking his lips up with a key. Ah. So he does understand. Cool.

I stick my head out slightly so I can tell what’s going on, especially since I wouldn’t be able to hear what’s happening without a good luck (I can rely on my lip reading then).

“Um, hi,” Lukas begins, looking Mathias up and down, frowning in confusion as he takes in the sail. Mathias waves in response, options kind of limited - which is honestly something I relate to heavily, I struggle a lot when it comes to talking to people, especially more than one. It’s honestly exhausting having to keep up with a conversation with multiple people, working out what they are saying, hope I didn’t work it out wrong (with is extremely embarrassing for me) and by the end of it I just want to retreat to my bedroom and not emerge for a few days.

“Are you alright?”

And all Mathias does is awkwardly smile and nod. God this is hard to watch. Lukas is awkward when talking to someone anyway and he honestly looks like he wants to die right now. Oh God. This is seriously hard to watch but I can’t intervene.

“Can you speak? Sorry if that sounded really weird.” Mathias shakes his head. Oh, some progress it seems. Lukas’ eyes widen, “Oh, ok. Do you know sign language? Because I do and we could talk through that.” Another shake of the head, followed by an apologetic smile. I didn’t expect Mathias to know sign language, but it would have been so handy if he did. Oh well. We can make this work.

Lukas laughs awkwardly, “Well, my name is Lukas, nice to meet you. You seem to have washed up here based on your attire, sorry if that sounds rude. If you’d like, you could come back to my place, I can get you some clean clothes, something to eat and drink. That sort of thing.”

The former merman smiles and nods his head, causing Lukas to slightly smile in return. Afterwards, Mathias gets up, crouching down to write something in the sand – I can’t really tell, too far away from here and not a good enough angle.

Lukas’ eyes widen once more, “Oh, is your name Mathias?” Oh so it was his name. That makes sense. One more nod and grin. My brother brushes his hand through his hair, “Ok, let’s go then, shall we, Mathias?” And they turn around and exit, on their way to our house.

Ok, seems like operation get Lukas to fall in love with Mathias is underway.

Time to make my life even weirder than it was already.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so I don't really have much to add to this. All I'll say is I love focusing on platonic relationships just as much as romantic so this chapter is full of Denmark and HK (as many more chapters will be). Also, oooo do I spy HongIce? >:)
> 
> Hope you all enjoyed and I'll see you soon! :)

**Author's Note:**

> I'd like to thank the entire Nordictalia server for their excitement for this fanfic. After a long wait, it is finally here. Hope you all love it as much as I do!
> 
> Comments are greatly appreciated!


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